B.I.O.N.I.C. Alum Impacting Her College Campus
What is the lasting impact of B.I.O.N.I.C. outreaches on B.I.O.N.I.C. students’ lives? Do they continue to use the skills they learned on the B.I.O.N.I.C. Team for the rest of their lives? One of the greatest ways that B.I.O.N.I.C. impacts our students is that they learn how to deal with tragedy! Our training for B.I.O.N.I.C. students is not very involved, but when the kids can immediately use what they learn, those are lessons they never forget.
When our students hear that a friend has lost a loved one, they know what to say…and, just as important, what not to say. When they hear of tragedy elsewhere, they don’t get overwhelmed, but immediately try to think of what they can do to help. Jessica (names in this story have been changed due to sensitive issues) is a great example of such an empowered student. Let me give you some history first.
Jessica was on our B.I.O.N.I.C. Team all four years in high school. She was a fairly shy person, but her senior year she applied to be a leader for our B.I.O.N.I.C. Loss Team to reach out to our students and staff who lose loved ones. The leaders usually give the speech at the door of the homes of the families of students who lost loved ones. Jessica was so shy that she wasn’t able to get up the courage to give the speech until our April deliveries that year.
At the first house, the other leader made the speech, and the student from our school who had lost an uncle almost seemed like she had prepared a speech to give back to us with the precious words of gratitude she spoke after the delivery. Walking up to the second house, Jessica said, “Ms. Austin can I give the speech this time?” Of course, Sandy said yes.
At this house, the delivery was for one of the B.I.O.N.I.C. members, Marie, who had lost her sister in a drunk-driving accident two weeks before. Jessica knocked on the door, and then Marie answered with her Mom next to her. Her Mom invited us in. We all hugged her mom and Marie since she had not been at school since her sister’s death. Jessica went up to Marie’s Mom and said, “Mrs. Gonzales, we are so sorry to hear of Ava’s death and we just wanted to…” Marie’s Mom broke into deep sobs. We all comforted the family and left when appropriate.
At the end of the delivery nights, Sandy always circled up the B.I.O.N.I.C. members to see how they were doing, so she could see if she needed to check in with any of them at school the next day. Sandy asked, “How were the deliveries for you all tonight?” Jessica broke into tears, and said, “Ms. Austin, what did I do wrong to make Maria’s Mom cry?”
Sandy said, “Oh Jessica you didn’t do anything wrong. Tonight we saw families in two different stages of grief. In the first delivery, the student who lost her uncle a month ago wasn’t very close to him since she rarely saw him. For the second one, they just lost Maria’s sister two weeks ago, and for a parent one of the most difficult things in life is losing a child.” Sandy went on to talk with the kids about the stages of grief to help the kids with what they had experienced that night. A month later for the May pie deliveries, Jessica asked if she could say the speech for the deliveries. Sandy then knew that Jessica had been able to process adequately the previous month’s delivery. What Jessica learned from that became even more apparent when she went to college.
Jessica went back to visit Sandy during her spring break from college. “Ms. Austin, do you know what I learned from B.I.O.N.I.C.?” She went on to explain, “There was a girl on my floor in my dorm this semester who lost a loved one, but everyone was avoiding her because they didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know her, but I bought a candy bar and wrote on an index card: You don’t know me but I heard you lost a loved one. I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry to hear that and I’m thinking of you during this time.”
Jessica continued telling Sandy, “So I went up to her and said, ‘You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I heard you lost a loved one and I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I know it must be hard here at college after losing a loved one, especially when having to study for finals. I just wanted to say I’m sorry and that I’m thinking of you during this time.” The girl gave Jessica a big hug and said, “Thank you, you’re the only one who has talked to me in a week and I’ve been so lonely. I was even thinking of suicide, but now I know I’m going to be okay. Thank you for caring!”
Our B.I.O.N.I.C. students don’t shy away from reaching out to others during the tough times of life! Next time we will share about two more alumni making a difference with the skills they learned in B.I.O.N.I.C., but what makes this type of caring so different is that these students walked with others in the midst of their pain instead of reaching out in general ways from a distance. That not only changed our students’ lives, but continues to enrich other lives they come in contact with ever since being involved in B.I.O.N.I.C.!